Autism x2 {Part 2} ….

It is so strange how autism works. Once you start reading about all the info, you have everyone you know – from family, to friends, to random strangers you “tried” to make eye contact with at the grocery store, to a wild child flapping in the library – diagnosed somewhere on the spectrum. Seriously, everyone fits on there somewhere! And if you get offended with that statement, go read the behaviors and I’m sure you will agree.

———————————————————————————

So, there I was. Freakin’ out about my kid because I knew there was a huge chance that my kid just might have autism. Especially after I just saw it on Oprah. Seriously, after an episode of Oprah, you might as well have your Ph.D. in the area of whatever topic is on your TV for the day!

I can only imagine how many calls all the pediatricians got around the US after that episode aired. Because I called my pediatrician that day. And I left a message. {I should preface this with how much I love my pediatrician.} He called me back relatively quick and assured me that I had nothing to worry about. Hudson just hadn’t really lived enough to say if there was a real issue or if Hudson was just Hudson. That last sentence isn’t going to make sense to many people because it didn’t make any real sense to me then either.

Now – it makes total sense.

Needless to say, my attention was on full alert at this point. In the beginning, I tried to stay away from the internet when it came to information about autism. I’m fairly certain it was because I was afraid of what I would find. What people need to understand about parents of autistic children is that as much as we want answers, we don’t want to hear them. And that is with everything autistic. From the diagnosis to the how to the why. I just want you all to know that as much as I want to know how I could have prevented it, I don’t want to blame myself if I could have.

About this time, I realized that Hudson definitely suffered the same fate as myself and was battling with sensory integration disorder. Such a fancy word to say that one or more of the five senses goes crazy at times. From personal experience, I have issues with tactile {or touch.} I cannot touch chalk, sand, dirt, play-do, velvet, velour, rough wood, raw silk, minky fabric ….. the list can go on forever. Basically anything that is dusty or leaves a residue behind on your hand. If it dries out my hands, I’m cringing.  Which is the reason I use hand lotion all the time. A random, but first thing that pops in my head, example would be when I set up my artificial Christmas trees. The fake pines dry out my finger tips immediately and so bad that I find myself gritting my teeth and rubbing my tongue fast against the lingual part of my teeth. But I learned years ago, that if I put band-aids over my thumb, middle and ring fingertips on my right hand and band-aids over my left pointer fingertip, I’m good. Right as rain kind of good! And can work for hours on those Christmas trees until the band-aids fall off.

In most sensory integration disorder “moments,” your other senses are elevated. And sometimes beyond comprehension. So, when Hudson is in a crowded room and 27 different conversations are going on, he can’t handle it. He loses all control. He will scream, hit and just freak out. I love trying to explain why he is having a freak out session especially to those who think that my kid is just misbehaving. OR those who think all he needs is to acclimate. Hell, if all I needed to do was bust my kid’s butt and keep putting him in the same situation repeatedly – he would be cured!! Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy and that has yet to work.

During the first year, I noticed that Hudson had a real issue with crowds and loud noises. It was different from the typical child crowd freak-outs. Anyone with kids know that there is a time when your child has some normal issues with noise and crowds. But they out grow them and move on. Hudson will never outgrow it nor will he ever move on. He has to learn to deal with it. At this point, it is easier to choose what crowds we have to mingle with and avoid as many as we can because at the end of the day, it is hard on every single person in this family.

After the first year, I realized Hudson had major issues with tactile. And it was worst than my own {which means it was and is bad!} That was the reason he would not hold onto a sippy cup with condensation – thank you Play-tex for your insulator cups. He also quickly started having a problem with foods. I noticed quickly how his diet started dropping food. Again, I was told not to worry. And after four kids, I can tell you that all kids go through a picky stages once they figure out they can be picky and their taste buds develop. The problem is when your child is missing complete food groups for months. Even when I would force him to try anything, he would gag. The gagging was an indicator there was a real problem!

But even with all this, I still did not have a diagnosis of nothing. I just kept getting the for now we will call them quirks conversations every time I would bring it up. And for the time being, I was okay with that. Because I wanted to believe they were only quirks. And you know, for many kids that is exactly what they were and are. Only my gut told me it was so much more. But honestly during the time, I was happy to believe I had only a quirky child.

We were rolling right along and when Hudson was 17 months old, the twins were born. And a little over 24 hours after their birth, I could see that I was going to have another “quirky child.” That’s right, I saw something immediately that made me know.

{to be continued….}